But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
