i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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