Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
