i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
3pm strippers are depressing
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
