Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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