Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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