i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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