Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
