I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
