Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
