Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Watching her eat just hurts me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
