Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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