Sry I called you an 8
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
