I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
