Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
