He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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