He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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