Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
