Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
a search helicopter?!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
