I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
