I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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