why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
