we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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