they need to just BURY HIM!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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