The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
