is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
