the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
