i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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