he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think my moral compass just broke
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