By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You did what with his pubic hair?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
