Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
