i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
