porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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