hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
