38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
