I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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