My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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