As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
