Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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