wat bout pragnant strippers??
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
sex in a hospital.. check
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
