she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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