i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
