i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
do herpes really smell.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
