I hope mine doesn't look like that
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
