She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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