Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
