Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
