Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
