Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
