never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
