I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
